Monday, July 18, 2011

I need to keep writing..

Let's start with this. I started blogging to help heal the pain of my breakup of five years.

I gave up blogging because I had found happiness in keeping busy and hanging out with new friends. This obviously came to a screeching hault. I honestly was doing so good. Now, Steven has told me he's basically had a girlfriend since we broke up. I've all of a sudden lost everything I have built up. While away, I took up sewing, started to start my own online business, enrolled Kailey is cheerleading, became a girl scout leader, and enrolled in school. This Saturday, when he told me I stopped what I was doing and haven't started again. I want to mope. I want to do nothing. I even wanted to try to channel the pain physically to see if it would not hurt so much inside.

I'm smarter than that. I'm more grateful for my children to do something like that. So, I recognized the cry for help my mind, body, and heart were giving me. I scheduled an appointment to see a doctor to help me with the struggles and pain. I'm sitting here thinking t myself: How will any kind of medication help? It won't take away the pain. It won't make me forget the last five years. But then, I remember that writing has always helped me channel anger, frustration, and pain.  So, on top of seeing a professional I'd like to start blogging again. So here I am back into action. Just me, my kids, and my blog. :)


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